


Long Awaited Nightfall

by bright73



Category: Young Riders
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Post-Series, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-09-08
Updated: 2004-09-08
Packaged: 2017-10-20 15:02:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/214020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bright73/pseuds/bright73





	Long Awaited Nightfall

It was a day like any else.

Lou was out on the porch, sweeping away the sand that had gathered in the cracks after the storm. This day of early December held a chill in the air, a promise of a merciless winter.

Rachel and she had settled in the old house, getting by the best they could under the circumstances. Teaspoon was still the Marshal of Rock Creek but nothing else was the same. Jimmy and Cody too had enlisted, like her husband but on the other side. Cody was already home, she had gotten a letter from him a couple of months ago. Jimmy had taken up as Marshal in a small town after the war. She'd heard that through Cody, Jimmy never wrote much anyway's. Buck came around every once in a while, helping them out. He was still lost between the red and the white world. Never quite able to decide in which he belonged. The town hadn't changed much. Fewer males around to cause trouble, that was all. Teaspoon was still sleeping in the small room at the end of their, now close to empty, barn. Only Katy, Lightning and Teaspoon's old mare were left of the stock that had once occupied it. Rachel still held her position as the school teacher, Lou had gotten to take care of the Livery Stables since the former owner was a casualty of the war and his widow wasn't up to the task, her sons still too young. All in all they managed all right. They'd never be rich but they had food on the table every day. They even had a small garden patch behind the house and sometimes let the old bunkhouse to anyone needing room over their heads for a dollar a night. There were plenty of drifters these days.

The loneliness was the hardest part. Even with Emmaline around to occupy her few free moments, she still missed him. Those daily things she had grown accustomed to the months before he left. Emmaline would constantly ask about her father, and Lou would tell. But it wasn't the same.

She'd not told Kid about expecting before he left. She'd had to sneak out and hurl every morning and he'd looked worried and asked what was wrong. She'd feigned not to understand what he was talking about. And he had left and six months later she had Emmaline, her hope and future. Her baby girl to love like nothing or no one else on earth.

She'd written him about the news and he had replied by asking why she hadn't told him before he left. ”Because it wouldn't have changed a thing”. Lou wrote back; ”you needed to do this and I needed something of you. Now I have at least a part of you always here with me. And I don't want to talk about it any more. You just come home when it's time. I will be holding you to your promise.”

After she sent him the picture of Emmaline at her second birthday the letters had stopped arriving. And Emmaline turned three and still not a word. Soon she would celebrate another birthday and Lou'd have to finally give in and stop waiting.

 

It was the silence that was worst. The first months had gone by and she had worried every day that passed without a letter from him. She'd still write him every day but received no word whatsoever about or from him. She didn't know if he was dead or alive, would she ever?  
In April there were news of Lee surrendering, some weeks later Johnston, and when Jefferson Davis was captured in May everybody said war was over. Then men started coming home, some badly hurt, others merely shrunken to skin and bones. And they represented the winning side.

Summer went by and she heard nothing. In early spring she had planted a rose Mrs. Hillman had bestowed her for helping out with the garden when her own dim sight and stiff fingers were unable to fight the weed any longer. Lou had planted that rose in their back yard and awaited for it to bloom when Kid came home. The rose didn't bloom at all that summer and somehow Lou decided that if, by next year, nothing would have changed she'd have to face the truth; Kid wasn't coming back home. That rose was standing there, bare and naked, mocking her. She felt like pulling it up by its root, tossing it away and forget about her dreams and wishes, but she wasn't able to. One last chance, just one last chance. That was what she kept praying for, day and night.

Rachel's steps on the old creaky boards made her turn. School was over for the day and soon Emmaline would wake up from her nap and it would be time to start dinner before she went to feed the horses in the Livery stable.

“It's freezin',” Rachel said and met with Lou's eyes. “You better come inside before you catch your death in this weather. Can't remember any early December ever being this cold.”

“Sure seems like it's gonna be a long and cold winter,” Lou said, her voice wavering a little at the thought of Kid out there in the cold wind and eternally drizzling rain. She let her eyes sweep down the street, a habit she had nurtured for as long as she could remember since he left. Every chance she'd get, she'd look up and down the street, scanning it for the one familiar figure she was longing to see.

Rachel caught Lou's eyes taking the old route and turned to the door. “I'll start peelin' the potatoes.”

Lou merely nodded, her eyes reaching the far end of the street.

One lonely man was walking up the street. Too far away to be recognized yet. Lou sighed. She had done this endless times, caught a glimpse of a man and hoped against all odds it would be him. It never was. She turned to place the broom back in its place and join Rachel in the warm house.  
The last glance back at the man had her heart beating a little faster.

He was clad in a gray tattered long coat, head bent down against the cold wind, the walk was slow and labored. But each step brought him closer and raised her heartbeat. It looked so much like him; same height, same way of walking. But this man was thin and seemed weak, her Kid was strong and well built.

Then he looked up and took his hat off to shake it and stopped in his tracks when he spotted her.

Her heart was beating in her throat. He stood there, hat in hand, eyes on her, wavering a little.  
She never heard him say her name, she only saw his lips move before she cried out and started running towards him. Her tears flowed freely as he let the hat fall to the dirty street and waited.  
His eyes were sadder than she remembered, he was thinner than she'd ever seen before. There was a dirty bandage draped over his forehead, covering half of his head. But he stood there, a little hesitant perhaps, like if he were unsure what to say or do next. Out of air she stopped a mere step away from him, reaching out her trembling hand to touch the coarse and dirty coat.

Then she heard him say her name like an apology and his cold hand closed over her wrist.

Her vision was blurred by now, her voice gone as she looked up on his face with tears blinding her eyes. His arms were around her, tentatively, like steadying her. With a hiccup she leaned into him and sobbed while she buried her face into the dirty coat and clung to him for life. With a heartfelt sigh he pulled her close and rested his unshaven cheek on her hair, rocking her slowly in his hold while he mumbled her name over and over again.

Then Rachel cried out from the door.

 

 

She watched him sleeping now. Three days had passed in a rush and Kid was starting to resemble the man she remembered. His hair was shorter now, his beard gone and the bandage removed, showing a nasty scar on his forehead. He was tired and needed his rest. Emmaline was just as curious as she was, peering at the new man in the house from behind her mother's skirts. His voice seemed to have the same soothing effect on their daughter as it had on her though, and when Kid pulled out the photograph of Emmaline Lou had sent him and showed it to his daughter, telling her he had carried her and her Ma close to his heart every step of the way, she had finally accepted to sit in his lap. Kid had taken it very slow but the moment Emmaline had fallen asleep in his lap, he had looked across the kitchen at Lou and she caught the tears in his eyes.

She had asked where he'd been all this time but he wouldn't tell. He'd pulled up a roll of Union money, placed it in her hand and asked for forgiveness. Lou had asked for what and gotten a half mumbled reply that he owed her everything; his life, his child and somewhere to come home to. She didn't ask how come a Confederate carried new Union money, a rather large amount. She didn't ask how come he arrived so long after the war had ended, nor how he had gotten back home, nor from where, she asked nothing. There'd be time for that later. He'd asked for forgiveness for not being there at least fifteen times during the past three days. The way he said it always tore at her heart, it felt like he asked for forgiveness for having stayed alive. For sins committed. But she didn't ask, he'd have to tell on his own accord. He was home now, that was all that mattered.

Last night she had woken several times just to assure herself he truly was in their bed. Sleeping soundly, his breath calm and even in the middle of the night. But she'd found him clammy and sweaty in the mornings, the blankets draped around him, his sleep agitated and sweat drops on his temples. She'd simply rest her hand on his shoulder for a while before getting up to feed the horses and making breakfast. He always fell asleep on the couch, exhausted, after dinner. She had to wake him up and drag him to bed, half asleep. He was exhausted, tired to his bones and it showed.

 

 

It was early Sunday morning, the darkness had still not broken and the cold hovered in the air. The wind made the old house whine and sigh. Still, the horses wouldn't wait, she needed to get up and get going before Emmaline woke up and demanded some breakfast. She turned to pull on her pants that laid over the bed frame, her shirt neatly tucked under them. It was cold in the room, so cold she preferred staying under the covers until she had her clothes on. She'd have to see if the fire downstairs had died out and remember to fetch more wood. She turned to kiss her husband on the front before leaving.

He moved slightly in his sleep.

 

 

Downstairs she had to light a kerosene lamp to see while putting more wood into the stove and fireplace. The usual morning routine hadn't changed. When she came back Rachel would have made coffee and oatmeal and set the table. If they had any, bread rolls would have been heated in the oven with strawberry jam at the side. Other days it would be mere biscuits. Teaspoon would be sitting by the table, waiting for them before starting in on the bread rolls, if there was none, he'd just take the coffee and dip the biscuits to soften them up. The oatmeal he categorically refused to touch. Today they were lucky, Rachel had gotten hold of some butter. With a last glance over the premises, she pulled her thick coat from the nail and draped herself in it, burying her nose into the warmth before opening the door and stepping out into the cold dampness of the empty street. The lantern held the darkness at bay around her, but it didn't reach very far.

She hadn't made it more than halfway to the Livery stables before she heard steps behind her. Turning around, she smiled at Kid in his old blue coat, steering his steps in her direction.

“Hey,” she said softly, “what ar'ya doin' up?”

He kissed her cheek before he took the lantern and grabbed her hand, dragging her along.  
Lou felt her cheeks go warm and a girlish giggle escape her. She felt silly and glanced over at Kid. His hand around hers was warm and safe, like in the old times. Just the two of them, fooling around in all innocence.

“You shouldn't have to be doin' this,” Kid said, looking back at her.

“A man's job, huh?” Lou smiled, shaking her head at Kid usual stance in the question of what she should or shouldn't do.

“A woman like you should have the right to stay in a warm bed while she sends her lazy husband out to muck the stalls. I'm sure it says so somewhere.”

“Not around here,” Lou laughed. “Since the war most women I know have been doin' manly work in one way or another. War changes a lot o things, Kid.“

He pulled her inside the door and draped his free arm around her. She pointed to the nail where she'd hang the lantern and he did so before turning back to her. Watching him she realized that they hadn't even properly kissed yet. Not the way a man and a woman kissed when in love. And she longed for it to happen. But he was merely looking at her, the sadness in the blue eyes still there. A sadness she couldn't remember ever present, like it seemed now. Like a shade of deeper blue acquired by exposure. She wondered if he ever was going to tell her what he had seen during the war, and would she even want to know? Had something happened to him that he wasn't able to tell even her? When would they bridge that last gap between them?

“Lou, from now on I'll take care of the horses and the Livery Stable until I find a place for us to stay. It's high time I pull my weight around here.“

“Kid,” she protested, “you should rest and get your strength back for now. We're fine where we're at right now. Mrs. Walters has nobody since her husband died, she needs my help.” She felt Kid stiffen and looked surprised at him. “What?”

He looked away and she felt his entire body tense.

“Kid?”

“Maybe I was the one killing him, Lou? You ever think about that? I've seen things I never believed existed. I've killed people without even knowing who they were and what they stood for. There's no mercy in war and there was no mercy in me.” He paused and seemed to gather his strength before looking at her anew and asking in earnest; “You really sure you still want me?”

She was silent for a while, meeting steadily with his gaze. There was downright pain in the gentle blue eyes. Whatever war had done to him, it hadn't killed that in him, the soft core that, when need be, turned to steel. That was one of the things she loved about him, why would he ever doubt that?

“Kid,” she asked softly, “what happened to you? “

“I fought a war, that's what happened. I fought a war and I wasn't there for you when you needed me.”

He wouldn't look at her but she sensed the pain in him. A tensing and a close to imperceptible withdrawal. Like he wanted to run away from it all, maybe from himself too? But pushing him wasn't the way to go, she'd have to wait until he felt ready to talk. That was who Kid was, and she had known it from the start.

“Kid,” she called softly out to him.

“I'm here,” he replied with her in a steady grip. “I'm right here.”

“Whatever you are thinking about yourself right now, know that I love you and need you. And yes, I want you.” She pulled his face closer to hers and kissed his lips tenderly.

His response was tentative at first, like testing the waters. Then, sensing the sincerity in Lou, the kiss slowly built up, turning urgent and needy. He groaned her name like in pain and kissed her back, the way they used to. Hungrily and heatedly, long and hard until her knees started shaking and she buried her hands in his hair, holding on while her need pushed the coldness away and the air around them became thick of lust and warmth, a warmth fueled by their fast breaths.

His hand pulled her hips to his and her own wandered in under the layers of cloth, to his chest that heaved in excitement. She groaned and he shivered under her touch and she felt his lust pressed to her stomach.

Sinking to his knees he pulled her shirt up and kissed her bellybutton, hands framing her hips. Shivers ran through her and she moaned at his lips exploring her softly, tongue hot and wet on her heating skin, warmed by his wandering hands, tickled by the cold air. The contrast was breathtaking.

“Oh God, Kid,” she whispered breathlessly, her legs threatening to give in.

Then a bang that had the wall tremble made them stop and look surprised at each other.

“The horses,” Lou grumbled. “They're used to an early feed.”

Kid rose and smiled softly at her, “Been spoiling them, huh?”

“Not like I intend on spoiling you,” she answered and kissed his clean shaved cheek tenderly. Kid grabbed her and pulled her close enough to sense his erection before he kissed her again, with wild heat and bottomless need.

She had to hold on to the stall walls when they finally let go. Her knees were shaking, her heart running wild and her mind was in shambles, nowhere near the feeding of horses. Would this waiting ever end?

With an exasperated groan Kid washed his face in the cold water and sighed.

 

 

“Where've you been?” Rachel asked when they opened the door. She was standing with her back to the door, tending to the stove. Teaspoon was sitting at the end of the table, With Emmaline on his knee, trying to salvage the coffee cup from being swept down by Emmaline's squirming to get loose the moment she laid her eyes on her Ma.

“I was just goin' to come out an' check on you. You better-,” She turned and paused while her gaze landed on the couple at the door, pulling their coats off. “Oh,” she said, “you're both up? What took you so long out there?”

Lou felt her cheeks go red as she lifted her twittering daughter up in her arms.

Teaspoon grinned in Rachel's direction.

“Lou was just showing me around.” Kid spoke, sounding very evasive.

Teaspoon chuckled hoarsely into his coffee mug.

“I'll be cutting some wood later today,” Kid said while seating himself at the table and smiled at the little girl he hardly knew but was dying to get acquainted with. He tickled her side and Emmaline giggled and hid her face in her mother's shirt. His hand rested on Lou's knee and she felt the heat souring in her body again. The day was long and she wished the hours would vanish rapidly, because tonight she'd have him fully. She'd touch him and feel his weight on her, his skin to hers, his hands all over her and the lips, oh those lips, suckling and teasing her until she was a boneless heap of need begging for release. She'd touch him everywhere, watch his eyes haze over with longing for the sweet journey towards bliss. And then he'd finally come to her, fill her up and rock her languidly over that cliff and have her falling freely into that warm and sweet darkness.

“You all right, Lou?” Rachel asked, standing besides her, looking at the still untouched food on the plate and the coffee cup still filled to the brim. “You look flushed.”

Kid and Emmaline were chatting about puppies, Kid telling her about a pup he had when he was very young. A puppy that would wag his tail at everybody and followed his big brother to school every day. Emmaline was so wrapped up in the tale that she actually ate the hated oatmeal that Kid was feeding her.

“Yeah,” Lou cracked in a voice a little too unsteady. “I'm fine, it's just hot in here.”

Rachel raised an eyebrow quizzically and Kid reached over to free Lou from Emmaline.

“Com'ere Em, Ma needs to eat and so do you. Here, you ain't tried this bread yet. It's the best bread I've had in ages. Look how the butter melts on it.”

Her daughter looked up at her Pa and her eyes brimmed with love at the way he talked to her, like she was a big girl.

Lou's heart flooded with love when she met his gaze over their daughter's fuzzy hair. His eyes were clear now, the sadness pushed away for a moment.

 

 

She dried the dishes Rachel had rinsed and put at her reach. Cursing the clock that wouldn't move at all. It was still early and all she was able to think about was the bed and Kid in it. He sat by the table, Emmaline around his feet, prattling away, asking a thousand questions in her usual manner. Kid tried his best in answering, which wasn't always easy when it came to Emmaline. The questions usually involved long and rather complicated answers. His words, spoken in a low voice, carried over to her. She didn't make out what he was saying but the melody of the spoken words were like a silent call. And it was playing havoc with her mind. She needed sweet words whispered in her ear, her name falling in bliss off those lips.

“You've dried the same glass three times Lou, what's wrong with you?” Rachel asked, her brow creased. “You seem in a totally different world all of a sudden. Sure you're all right?”

Her cheeks flushed again, and she muttered a 'fine' under her breath and positioned the glass in the appropriate cupboard. She needed to start acting rationally and stop slipping into the thoughts that assaulted her. Tonight she'd have him, tonight was just so far away. She fumbled when she reached for the next glass.

“Lou?” His voice behind her, so close she felt his exhale on her neck. “You got a knife I can use to make Em a wooden puppy? I found the perfect piece by the fireplace.”

“Huh?”

She felt him come closer and lean in over her shoulder, looking at the knifes on the wall.

“Just something to carve wood with.” He found what he was looking for and laid a hand on her shoulder as he reached for it. Pressing his body to hers in the process, still not reaching the coveted item.

The rag fell out of Lou's hand and her body leaned into his warmth, without any possibility for her mind to control her actions. His frame was warm, strong and the leathery scent of horses, earth and Kid tantalized her mercilessly and she fumbled for the rag to get her composure back.

Rachel cast a sideways glance and reached for the small carving knife and placed it at Kid's reach.

But Kid suddenly had other things on his mind. “Here,” Kid picked up the rag and reached around her to take a glass and dry it. “I'll help.”

His chest pressed to her back, his hips to hers, the arms around her promisingly. She was trapped between the kitchen sink and Kid's body, trapped in his scent and warmth. Captured in her own need. She giggled.

Rachel coughed.

Lou pushed back and had Kid step away from her. “Go on, go make that wooden puppy. I can handle the drying very fine, thank you.” She swatted him away with the rag and Kid grinned and made a playful salute at his general.

“And the knife?” Rachel pointed out innocently.

Kid blushed and took the tool, mumbling an embarrassed thank you in Rachel's direction.

Lou had to drink water and press the cool surface of the glass to her cheek before she was able to continue her task.

“I'm still hot,” she said when Rachel looked at her. The moment the words slipped out of her a new wave of blood rushed to her face.

Rachel was smiling from ear to ear.

 

 

Later she sat watching him carve the wood. Strong fingers managing the wood, slicing minute parts off it, shaping it into the distinct form of a sitting dog. Emmaline was jumping before him in excitement, talking endlessly. Nagging him to hurry up.

“That's your Pa all right,” Lou sighed. “Always keepin' you waiting.”

Kid chuckled and moved to sit closer to her, leg to leg, side to side. Lou felt the need for another glass of cold water.

“But see, I always finish what I start in a proper manner. And that's a promise.” He leaned in and spoke so close to her ear that his breath fanned her hair. She laid her hand on his thigh, leaning in on him to watch him work. Her breath ran fast as the lean leg under her hand tensed and her mind wandered to him without all the restraints on. She wanted to lay her hand on his naked skin, feel him heat up under her palm. Sense every movement of his body with her own. Bury her nose into the nape of his neck and drink him in with heart and soul

“I wanna 'ave da puppy now!”

Emmaline's demands brought her out of her reveries. The little girl stood in front of them, hand tugging at her father's sleeve, voice demanding.

“Just a minute honey,” Kid promised and swept the knife over the rounded wood in a last effort of perfection. “Here ya go Em!” He handed it over and Emmaline took it into her hand. Eyes shining of joy as she turned it and looked at the wooden piece that miraculously had turned into a sitting dog.

“Oh, Pa!”

Her chubby arms reached out for him and he bent down to accept the kiss she was offering. “I love you, little one,” he said, his voice almost breaking.

Emmaline hugged her father tight and then ran to show Teaspoon her treasure. “Gram Pa, look!”

Tears welled anew in Lou's eyes and Kid rose.

“I better go muck out the stables,” he said in a slightly shaky voice.

“Now?” Rachel looked up from the socks she was mending as he passed her on his way to the sink, “it's raining.”

“I know,” Kid nodded, “I need to go right now. I need some fresh air.“

Rachel let her eyes sweep over him and then to Lou. “Funny thing that this heat seems to afflict only some of us,” she said innocently.

“Go on, son,” Teaspoon said from his rocking chair. “I'll take care of the little troublemaker and take on the last feeding of them horses tonight. So the two of you can relax. Or what ya say? Troublemaker, ya gonna give Gram Pa a hard time?”

“I gotta get into something cooler,” Lou said and rose in her turn. “These pants are way too hot.” She ran upstairs with cheeks blushing hot.

 

 

The bedroom was actually chilly. The wind outside rattled the widows and the rain hammered down hard. She made a fire in the small tile stove, watching it flare up and then settle to burn slowly. By tonight it would have heated both their room and Emmaline's. Rachel's room was always warm, thanks to the funnel. Rachel had offered her room, over and over again, to Lou and Emmaline but Lou couldn't leave the room where she and Kid had slept before he went off to war. Too many memories and too much hope inside those walls. Emmaline had kept her company all those long years. Up till this summer, when she was more than happy to move to her own little room where the sun didn't wake her first thing in the morning. Sleeping with the door ajar, she was more than happy with the current situation. Lou smiled at the thought of her daughter, a perfect mix of the two of them. Kid's calm rationality and her independence. Problem was that she was growing up too fast. Lou missed having a babbling baby around the house. In fact she had feared Emmaline would be her only child and had tried to savor every moment with her. But now, maybe now she'd get Emmaline a sibling. Was that too much to ask?

She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. She might be a tad rounder but the pants and the shirt still wasn't very womanly. The town had gotten accustomed to her dressing, at least when she mucked the stables. She'd even seen some other young women wearing pants when they did their manly work.

But now she wanted to be all woman. She loosened her hair and let it fall freely over her shoulders, for Kid's fingers to caress. Some of the Lilac water in the fancy bottle on Rachel's nightstand might do wonders. Anything to drive him as crazy as he was driving her.

She put on a dress, her finest. The one Rachel had gotten her for her birthday. She didn't own many, and this one she had never worn before. She had saved it for this precise moment, for Kid's eyes. It brought forth her small bosom and she blushed a little at the sight. She didn't have much to offer but she was a bit fuller since the birth of Emmaline. Turning, she watched her hips; they too had changed and were now a bit more womanly. She was finally growing out of her boyish looks, she was finally turning men's heads. But all she had ever wanted was Kid.

She sat on their bed and rested her head in her hands. Her heart was still beating fast and she couldn't steer her thoughts away from the path they had been wandering the whole day. A path they had been down so many time these past years. Too many times. He'd used to haunt her in her dreams, in so many ways. Now he haunted her with his presence. Would this day ever turn into night? She needed the nightfall, the silence of a sleeping house to get what she craved and the waiting was driving her insane. His closeness was driving her insane. He was there, but not close enough, never close enough. If he didn't stop teasing her like this, she'd probably explode. Burn up, perhaps? The tension was close to unbearable, yet so alluring and full of promise. The memory of his body pressed to hers more vivid now, more real. Only some hours away, hours that dragged along like never before. She felt that the long years of worrying and waiting were nothing compared to this long, rainy Sunday.

She laid down on their bed, resting her cheek on the cool pillow. Breathing in his scent. Curling into the sheets he had slept in the night before. God, she needed him now. Her hands itched to touch him. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes. She'd only rest for a couple of minutes, then she'd go down and help Rachel with the dinner.

“Hey you.” A whisper woke her and she opened her eyes to find Kid sitting on the edge of the bed, brushing the hair out of her eyes. “You all right, Lou?”

“Lord, I fell asleep?” She rubbed her eyes, a tad ashamed. “I didn't mean to.”

“So beautiful when you sleep,” Kid murmured in her ear. “I haven't told you how beautiful you are since I came home, have I?”

She blushed again, Kid was not the suave kind, what he said he meant, he always spoke from the heart.

“How long have I been sleeping?”

“A couple 'o'hours.”

“What?” She jerked into a sitting position. “But how about dinner? Emmaline?”

“Whoa! Hold on. Everything is under control. Em's napping right now and I was the one getting her to sleep. I even peeled the potatoes so dinner is well under its way. Kind'o reminded me of the old times.” He grinned. “No need to worry. In fact, Rachel suggested we all have a rest before dinner is ready in an hour. “

Lou fell back to the pillow, calmed. “You should have woken me up.”

Kid made her scoot over so he had room at her side. “Naw, you needed the rest.”

“I'll never fall asleep tonight,” she complained.

“Good,” Kid grinned and rolled to lay partly over her. “That's what I'm hoping for.”

She giggled and crept closer to him. “You keep promising but nothing ever happens.”

He trailed his lips along her neckline, his hand creeping under the long skirt and up her leg.

She barely suffocated the moan. His weight on her had her mind running wild all over again. Her fingers sneaked in under his shirt, the top of his long johns to finally rest on his bare skin. “Please touch me,” she whispered in his ear. “Please Kid.”

He groaned and let his hand wander up to her straining bosom, cupping a warm hand over her before letting his thumb circle her aching bud under the camisole.

He was hard against her hip and she captured his lips, tasting him hungrily while her hands soothed the heaving chest. The kiss made her ears hum and she pushed up to him; it was like torture. Sensing him this close, yet not able to have him inside of her. Her hand now in his hair, caressing the sandy curls when he bowed his head to nip and tease the skin on her neck.

The fire roared in the stove, the wind and rain outside, and inside of her the blood rushed through her veins in a speed that made her gulp for air. He lowered the dress enough to free her breast and kiss the sensitive flesh tenderly, watching her as he did. Lou closed her eyes and strained up to his lips, mumbling incoherently, begging him for more.

“Shhh, Lou,” he whispered with a smile and kissed her lips, having her wrap her arms around his neck hard and respond with her entire body. She felt his every move with her body, every flick of eyelashes, every breath he took and the hardness of his frame had her trembling uncontrollably. Rolling them around he covered them with the blankets and in the darkness they felt safer and her hands roamed him more freely. At the sensation of his warm erection she moaned into his ear, fingering it eagerly. Kid's hands were on her butt, his lips everywhere and Lou tried desperately to get his belt unbuckled. Her feet stuck out from under the blanket and she warmed the soles on Kid's legs, capturing him in between hers. Her skirt pooled around her waist. There was close to nothing in between them. It was far too compromising, still she couldn't resist. Couldn't wait another couple of hours, not one minute.

“Please,” she whined, inkling her hips to meet his, capturing him with her legs in a tight grip. “Please, Kid.”

“Ma?”

A rustle at the door.

Kid rose to his elbows, making the blanket slide down and looked down on her. A rush of blood coloring his cheeks, hair in an absolute disarray.

Lou closed her eyes in exasperation. “Yes, hon?”

“Da doggie fell under the da bed!” Emmaline tried desperately to get the door to open up and Kid and Lou flew out of bed, hastily rearranging their clothes.

“Shouldn't you be napping?” Lou asked with a strained voice when she walked to the door. Opening it she saw her daughter standing there, lower lip trembling slightly.

“Da doggie!”

“Your fault!” Lou threw a glance over her shoulder in her husband's direction. He in turn walked over to wash his face in the water, then raking his wet hand through the curls before sighing deeply.

Lou groaned inwardly and followed her daughter into the next room. She knelt by Emmaline's bed and fished up the puppy from the floor. It had fallen in under the furthest corner of the small bed. “Here ya go!”

Emmaline took the treasure into her small hands and pressed it to her chest. “Poo doggie,” she said. Her blue eyes holding a concerned expression. Then she looked at her mother's hair and giggled. “Ma, you all messy!”

Lou took her offspring's hand and walked over to their bedroom where Kid was straightening out the bed. Emmaline climbed happily onto it and bedded the wooden puppy down.

Kid sat down and watched his daughter's care of the wooden dog while she prattled eagerly and her small hands pulled at the sheet. She was telling him all about 'da doggie' and where he'd gotten to.

Lou took the brush and straightened out her hair. Catching Kid's gaze in the mirror, she pouted. She was starting to fear nothing was ever going to happen. Other than her imminent explosion. When they finally did get some peace and quiet, the roof would probably come tumbling down, or there would be a riot of some sorts. Dinner? Who cared about dinner at this stage?

“Come along Lou,“ Kid took her hand and started walking both his girls downstairs, “it's time to set the table. And I'll have to see to the horses, this wind is getting fearsome.”

Lou merely mumbled.

 

Emmaline decided she was big enough to handle her spoon all by herself, which resulted in a soiled dress and mashed potatoes on the floor. Not to talk about Doggie that had to sit by the plate and nearly drowned in the sauce.

It was the usual messy dinner, only a fuller one due to it being Sunday. Emmaline getting the attention at the table. But Lou was acutely aware of the man at her side. So aware that she had to rise and fetch more bread, a new napkin and fill the pitcher though it was half full; she had to move around to hurry them all up. She hoped that they'd be able to sneak up soon and continue what they'd started.

After dinner Teaspoon got the idea to read out loud from his favorite book.

Lou sighed, that meant Emmaline would refuse to go to bed before Grand Pa was done. And knowing Teaspoon, that could take hours.

Rachel heard her deep sigh and grinned.

Lou tied the apron around her waist and poured the hot water into the sink. Maybe it would take her mind off things?

“Hey,” Kid moved to stand at her side. “I'll do the dishes, you sit down and rest.”

“I can't,” Lou mumbled and glared at him.

“Huh?”

“We gotta get these folks to bed,” she wheezed. “Now!”

Kid reached around her for the rag and managed to hold his arm around her waist a little longer than necessary. Lou bit her bottom lip. Even watching him do the dishes was sensual. How he wiped his brow when the steam of the hot water made his hair curl and fall into his face. The smile playing around his lips when he watched her from the corner of his eye, holding on to the plate she was reaching for, having a tug of war over it. The muscles playing on his bare forearms.

“Lou,” he leaned over to her and spoke in a low voice, “that plate is definitely dry by now.”

She glared and placed it in its place, returning to her spot by the sink, only a little bit closer to Kid every time.

His eyes lingered on her bosom and she grinned; “Kid, you've already washed that plate twice.”

“I have?”

“Yes,” she said, taking the plate from his hand, stirring when their fingertips touched.

“We better get all these folks to bed,” he whispered in her ear when he reached for the glasses.

His lips tickled her lobe and she bit down on her lip again. “I keep telling you that,” she complained with a glance over her shoulder.

Teaspoon was still reading, Emmaline sitting by Rachel's side on the coach, holding onto Doggie and listening intently. Wide awake.

Rachel grinned teasingly when their eyes met.

“Are we getting' any coffee?” Teaspoon asked from his rocking chair. “It's Sunday an' all. Don't we usually have a nice pot o' pitch black coffee after dinner?”

Desperately Lou looked at Kid, not this too! Coffee at this time of night would keep them up until dawn. Not that, not now!

Rachel laughed and Kid threw her a reprimanding glance. “Sure,” he said. “Comin' right up, right Lou?”

Lou muttered and filled the coffee pot with fresh water, glancing over at her husband. Their eyes met, a hint of desperation in their gazes over the coffee pot.

 

 

They sat at the kitchen table, opposite one another, looking at each other over the pristine tablecloth. Hands joined. The clock struck ten. Rachel's steps were heard from above. She walked over the floor, probably fetching another blanket for Emmaline that slept in the spare cot in Rachel's room. Rachel had suggested that, to Lou's immense gratitude. Maybe, just maybe, they'd finally get some privacy.

They held hands in silence, eyes locked onto each others. Kid's thumbs drawing circles on Lou's skin. They waited until the house was completely silent.

“Tired Lou?” Kid asked, watching her intently.

“Lord, no,” she said, rising to her feet. “Never too tired for you, never.”

He steered her round the table, pulling her into his lap. “You know chances are that someone will wake up and ...” he let his voice trail off.

Lou fingered his collar, “I don't care, Kid. All I care about is being with you. As close as I can possibly get.” She lifted her face and drew her index finger along his jaw line.“It's been so long, so long I can hardly remember. I need you now.”

His thumb caressed her temple. “You and me, all alone,” he mumbled in her ear, tickling her sensually. “What in the world should we do?” His palm cupping her knee under the skirt.

“Get to bed,” Lou said in a close to panicking voice. “Now! Before it's too late and something else happens.” She rose and tugged at his hand. “Hurry!”

“Hold on, Lou. Gotta put some logs in the stove.” He let go off her hand.

“Kid!”

“A second.”

“You're doin' this on purpose, ain't ya?”

“What?”

“Tormentin' me,” she said when he stepped up to her and pulled her into an embrace. “Making me crawl and beg, leaving me longing.”

“I just wanna do things right,” he said, lifting her up in his arms and starting for the stairs.

“Oh Lord, lemme down before we both fall and break something. I can't take another month or two of waiting. Lemme down!” She hastily freed herself from his hold.

“Have I ever dropped you?” Kid asked, a little hurt.

“After today, I ain't takin' any chances.” Lou stated and gripped her husband's hand, “no chances at all.”

They sneaked up the stairs on their toes, holding their breaths and opening the door to their room ever so cautiously.

When the door closed behind them they remained silent, looking at each other in the dim light of the fire in the stove.

Then Kid took one step up to her and kissed her long and hard before starting to slowly peel off her dress.

“Oh, Lou. I never thought I'd see you again. Never thought I'd hold you or make love to you.“ He sank to his knees and looked up at her, adoration in his eyes. “I love you. Lou. You know that, don't you?”

“Com'ere,” she said, making him rise to his feet and opening the buttons of his shirt. “Lemme see you, lemme finally see all of you.”

She pulled the shirt over his shoulders, tossing it at the chair by the window. Then the top of his long johns flew in the same direction. She paused for a moment, letting her finger trail along a new scar, running diagonally over his stomach. Tears rose to her eyes, there was so much he hadn't told her. She wondered if he ever would.

“Oh Lord, Kid, that must'ave hurt somethin' awful.”

“Being without you hurt something awful.” he responded, helping her out of her clothes. Occupied with every inch of her that he freed in the process.

His skin was hot under her touch. It seemed it was sculptured right over his bones, he was so much thinner than she remembered. How on earth had he made the trip back mostly on foot? She trailed her hands over his arms, another mark of a bullet evident. Her heart ached and she kissed the mark. “Kid, you sure you ain't hurtin'?”

Self consciously he shook his head at her question. “No Lou, I ain't hurting anymore, I'm home. I am with my wife and I want her. Why would I be hurtin'? You're here.”

She found herself naked in front of him and he groaned at the sight before lifting her up in his arms and carrying her the three steps to their bed. Her fingers sneaked down to the belt and she opened it without a word, there was nothing left to say right now. No words for the need she felt. Nothing would explain or cease the longing that ran in her blood. Only he was able to cure that. Already long since ready for him she waited for him to peel the last clothing off himself and creep under the blankets. Her hands weren't touching scars anymore, they were roaming over all the sensitive spots she remembered on his body, those spots she'd tantalized so many times before and still never got enough of. And he found hers. Lips trailing over her, nibbling and suckling all the sensitive parts of her waiting body. Making her bury her face in the crook of his neck not to cry out loud, feverishly searching for more of him to love. Shivering of anticipation she sought for him, she needed all of him everywhere. Skin to skin, lips to lips and finally, hip to hip in a slow rocking motion that she couldn't sustain for long before she fell into the crest of the wave that washed over her with a force that lured him along. He kissed her fingertips when he followed her with abandon.

She cried with her face buried in the crook of his neck afterwards, cried all her grief and pain to his skin. And all her happiness in having him back, safe and sound, in her bed, inside her. The tears she hadn't shed in all these years came rushing out, the fear and solitude she'd felt were dissolved in sobs. He held onto her and rocked her, letting her cry her silent cry against his neck, wetting him with the tears that were a mixture of happiness and resolved fear and tension. He didn't say anything, he merely laid there with his lips pressed to her temple, kissing her sweaty hair in comfort, his arms around her in a steady grip. Letting her have her release. A boneless heap, she lay on top of him, never wanting to let go.

She looked at the vein pulsating on his neck, and smiled through tears. Raising her eyes to meet his familiar ones. He truly was home.

And she cried shamelessly again, of pure happiness. Marking his skin with her hot tears.  
She too, was finally where she belonged.


End file.
